More Than Anything

Four weeks into January, has anybody felt any different yet? Or has that New Year feeling worn off already? For me I’ve been facing each day as if it was a new year, facing each day as if it was a new beginning. Believe it or not that’s been working out extremely well for me! After officially completing my first week of classes on Tuesday I feel confident that I will be excelling this semester in my classes. I’ve been updating my blog more frequently. Be honest readers, this is the first time I’ve blogged four weeks in a row. I’m honestly running out of things to talk about, but that won’t stop me from blogging! I also was approved of my TV show last week and I will start filming a comedy in February.

This week I asked myself this… “why is everything unfolding for me now”? I let that question rest on my mind for a while and then it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything I have done lead to this divine moment. I am being pushed forward against a strong wind and if I give up now I’ll be blown off this journey in my life. If I give up now, or start slacking off, everything I’ve been working hard for will be pointless. I don’t want this moment to be something I regret a few years down the road.

For many of you that read my Here's To 2015 blog you know that 2015 was the worse year of my life. I learned that you have to endure the darkness in order to perfectly admire the light. So for those of you that feel as if this year started off wrong I say work harder. I say don’t give up and push against that wind. Things might not look up now but you are going through what you’re experiencing right now for a reason. You have to work hard for the things you want because the best things in life are never just handed to you.  

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you’ll do absolutely anything – and I mean anything – to get it? However, once you got it you forget the reason why you wanted it in the first place? I think that occurs because a) you truly never wanted it, you just made yourself believe you did or b) you didn’t work hard enough for it so the end goal wasn’t as satisfying. 

Feed your satisfaction and start working for those larger goals because right now I’m on the right path of my life and it petrifies me. Not because I think I’m going to mess up, but because this is the moment my life has been leading up to. I want it so bad that it has consumed me and I’m scared because I love this feeling more than life itself. I don’t know what would feel better than this but I’m more than ready to endure the next step.

My message to you readers is don’t stop moving forward. We are just at the end of the first month and we have eleven more to go. If you made a mistake just learn from it and keep moving on, don’t stop! I believe in you! If there is something you want more than anything, what’s stopping you from going to get it? Get up right now and take a step towards the thing you want most in life…. GO!

Peace readers

-Stylish Ev   

Scarred

When I think of my own mind I often find myself comparing it to my own physical body. I compare my memories to my flesh. Your skin is a variation of who you are because it portrays what you physically look like. That reflects back to your memories, it is just a variation of who are because there are limits to our own memory. Sometimes the things we remember aren’t exactly what happened or exactly how we felt. The perception of what you look like isn’t necessarily who you are, so why should the memory of yourself limit you? For example, a traumatic experience could prevent somebody from ever attempting anything similar to that experience. This automatically restricts your future because you subconsciously place barriers on your own limitations. Just like our misleading flesh, our memory could be strong enough to fool ourselves. 

            This single idea is also similar to the scars on our bodies because there are also scars on our minds. Just as if you got a fresh wound on your body, a most recent mental experience needs time to heal. There are variations to the injury on the body as well as the mind: scratches, cuts, deep cuts, burns, and impalement. Each type of injury needs a certain amount of time to heal physically, which means each kind of mental experience needs a certain amount of time to heal mentally. 

            The way to determine what kind of mental injury you have is easiest to figure out by comparing it to human interactions. A scratch on the mind would be a brief encounter with somebody that’s easily forgettable. It could also be a brief stressful moment. A cut on the mind would be a friend that you bond with and begin to grow close to but don’t. It could also be something that scarred you but did not drastically change your life. A deep cut on the mind would be a friend or family member that you were close too for a long time but then lost. It could also be a fear that was overcame but results in future cautious actions. A burn would be the feeling of betrayal and that happens with somebody that is extremely close. Finally, impalement on the mind would be like losing somebody that you loved more than anything resulting in hesitation of ever loving somebody that way again. It would also be a traumatic experience that prevents you from ever completing that action again. 

            Just like any injury on your body, you always remember the biggest and the deepest scars. Those tiny scratches and cuts always become forgotten in time but the mentally will still remain there. When a scratch happens sometimes it doesn’t even leave a mark. Or when a small cut makes up bleed it will heal completely over time with no mark. However, the mental aspect of scars is more mind-blowing than the flesh. Our minds are such a powerful feature of ourselves that we don’t even realize how drawn we are to the people with the same mental scars as ourselves. Sometimes it’s apparent at first and other times it isn’t but when that connection is made the healed scar that already left its mark begins to vanish. As if you were never hurt in the first place. That’s the affect somebody will have on you if them been through something similar in life. So tell me, is another way of limiting ourselves or what our mind is telling us is true? 

Peace readers

-Stylish Ev  

Change The Force or Force The Change

Last week I wrote a post about focusing on your goals and in the past week I've noticed something strange. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m older or because I’m at a better place in my life now; but coming into the second week of the year it truthfully seems like people are trying too hard to change. More specifically people are trying too hard to change someone else. I understand how you want to better yourself and your life but you can’t force someone to change who doesn’t want to. Maybe this has been going on all my life and I’m old enough to realize it now but it truthfully seems pathetic. 

More damage than good is done when you attempt to change somebody who doesn’t want to be changed. Do yourself a favor and be the change you want to see. If you give that person space and let them continue to live the life they want then in that time they will hopefully realize their wrong doing. If they don’t want to change their self there is no way you will be able to change them.

I know it is hard seeing the person you care about suffer either if its a family member, friend, or loved one. If they don’t want to change there is honestly nothing you can do about it. You will only be hurting yourself more and adding stress to your life if you continue to worry. Do yourself a huge favor and honestly focus on yourself. It is one thing to worry about the things you can control. However, once you start worrying about the things you can’t control your life drags in so much stress. 

As the second week of the year begins look back and notice the small changes you’ve already made for yourself. Don’t give up on you! Continue to aim for that consistent progress and get your mind off of an idea of perfection.  If you strive for perfection you will fail more times than not. However, if you strive for progress you will succeed more times than not and build confidence in yourself. That is the smartest way to move towards perfection and you can’t do that for anybody else but yourself. You making positive changes will hopefully encourage the people around you to do the same. Stay strong readers only 50.143 weeks left of this year so make them count.

Peace readers

-Stylish Ev  

Focus On Your Goals

Stop… STOP RIGHT NOW! Stop looking for a life partner and focus on your goals. Focus on rebuilding your life and once your life is built, focus on building it some more. Go beyond your blueprints because I’ll tell you one thing I’ve learned and that’s the right person will eventually find their way into your life. We connect with people who have similar souls to ours. 

Think about it for a second.

By focusing on your goals you’ll surround yourself with other people that are goal orientated. Those people will push you until you have achieved what you desired. Once you’ve obtained your goal then you will be surrounded by other people who’ve fought the way you did to get where you are now. You’ve just placed yourself in an environment with people that have similar interests as you do and possibly similar souls.

Right now, chasing somebody will only get you so far in a relationship. Now let’s be honest, now a day’s sex is a huge factor in a relationship. It’s so huge that sex usually happens before the relationship begins. Which is why most of the time the relationship never lasts that long. You are satisfied with the physical but that satisfaction would only last for so long. You are not two compatible people; you are two people that have sex. The saddest part is that this is what you can do with any other person that wants sex. 

What worked in the past that doesn’t happen most of the time now is the friendship took place before the relationship. Friendships now are being stretched out and brushed off because of social media. The understanding of a person before anything physical happens is gone because we assume we understand somebody by looking at their profile page.

If you decide that you want to be with somebody no matter what before you begin a relationship then you are on the right track. After having a friendship and transitioning into a relationship the next step is getting to know one another as more than friends. Starting the romance before being intimate is important. Once that flame has been lit for quite some time then the sex comes in and that’s the recipe for a long relationship. 

Focusing on your goals in life will help you get there because not only will you be bettering your own life in the process but you will inevitably create the best possible you for the best possible lover. If you can’t love yourself how could you expect somebody else to?  Knowing somebody else loves you and wants what’s best for you isn’t the same as you wanting that for yourself. 

So do yourself a favor readers and stop looking for a partner. Focus on your goals and rebuilding your life. The right person will find their way to you when you’re ready and I promise you, that will be the relationship that lasts. 

Peace readers

-Stylish Ev