The double standard that men are applauded for having multiple sex partners and women are scorned still eludes me. Why is the judgment leaned more so in one direction? I also don’t understand the double standard that it is all right for men to openly discuss sexual details and aspects about themselves and their partners, however, if a woman wants to do so it comes off as vulgar behavior. I feel like this idea stems from a man wanting a woman that would be the best mother to their children. A man doesn’t want to be with a woman that isn’t suited to raise a child.
Growing up I personally didn’t want to be with a girl that has been around. However, the older I’ve gotten, the more open I’ve become to the idea. I view women as equals, so if I don’t judge my guy friends for sleeping around, why should I judge my female friends for that? I can’t judge somebody based solely on their past. Yes, I will take their past into consideration but, if they are honest with me and are all about me, then I don’t see any problem with being with a highly sexually active woman.
The men are supposed to pursue the women and in the process of this, an idea comes into play that no man wants a woman that has been around. A man sometimes brags to his friends about his pursuit of a woman. Gay women brag about the amount of sex they have as well, but you won’t often come across a heterosexual woman that talks about the guys she’s having sex with. If a woman has been around, is it then her job to pursue the man?
I’ve been in a situation where a woman wanted me and pursued me. First off, it’s flattering being pursued. It’s not something I want to get used to, but here and there I wouldn’t mind it if a woman was more open with herself sexually. There is nothing wrong with a woman going after a man she wants, in my opinion. If this double standard ever ceases to exist, then more of this would happen. Should the roles change? Does the woman take on the lead role in the relationship due to her high sexual activity? You would think that this is the case, but the second a woman goes for a man the assumption is that she does this regularly. The assumption is that she is a whore. Why?
I feel as if women were more open about their sexuality, this mentality would be completely different. I see more and more women showing off more skin and claiming they don’t hook up with guys, knowing that they do. Why lie about that aspect of yourself? Is it because women believe it will be more appealing to a man if he thought they weren’t having a lot of sex? Is it appealing to a woman if a man has a lot of sex? I feel like a woman would judge a man on the number of people he’s slept with and this leads to them being more conservative about their own sexuality. How could this be more balanced?
According to history, a woman was supposed to save herself for marriage. This idea obviously changed and it is difficult to find a woman to be your first. Are we approaching a reversed era where men should start saving themselves for marriage? No, because that would be crazy. So, why is this idea that woman have to hide their sexuality such a problem?
Overall, I believe the double standard relates to confidence in oneself. We like to be with someone who makes us feel good about ourselves. However, if we already feel good about ourselves, without anybody else, then it won’t matter who we are having sex with; we won’t be intimidated by what our friends or family think of it. So do yourself a favor and just be honest about who you are because the more you hide it, the more you’re feeding into societies double standard.
Peace readers
-Stylish Ev
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