What does it mean to be loyal? I’ve encountered multiple relationships which ended because one person in the relationship wasn’t “loyal” to the other. So I asked them what it means to be loyal and they typically responded that it means not to cheat or backstab a partner. So then I asked if they gave them any reason to cheat or backstab them and immediately they would respond in different ways. The most common would be, I’m not sure but if I did why wouldn’t they end ties with me first before they cheated or backstabbed me? The answer to that is they have become loyal to somebody else. Loyalty is a strong feeling of support or allegiance. Once that feeling begins to diminish, that person would want to naturally replenish those feelings. They would either attempt to work them out with the current person that they are with or seek someone new.
Let’s take a deeper look into what loyalty truly is... Allegiance, is commitment of a subordinate to a superior or of an individual to a group or cause. Being loyal means giving or showing firm and constant support or allegiance to a person or institution. So when loyalty comes into question it comes from one person towards another. A person wants to be loyal to somebody who they trust and can obtain a consistent support system with. In my opinion, loyalty has to be balanced in order to maintain itself for a long period of time. However, the act itself of being loyal to somebody has been altered due to the fact that an individual will be loyal to somebody they don’t completely trust or know.
Loyalty is the full devotion to a commitment. People often end up hurt due to not fully understanding this. Yes, there is nothing wrong with people being loyal to somebody, but before you considering doing that make sure feelings and the level of mentality is transparent among the two of you. Why would somebody want to be loyal to someone who they barely even know? Simple, because they want that person to be loyal to them; for whatever the reason may be. However, this is the worst way to try to obtain an individual's loyalty because if betrayed the damage will be irreversible on oneself. Meaning it will be harder for you to trust and remain loyal to somebody else.
In the Gospel of Matthew 6:24, Jesus states, "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.” Loyalty is more than an action. Loyalty is a mindset and if both parties aren’t mentally ready to be loyal to one another then that relationship would never strive. The unfortunate backfire of this situation is the lack of ability to be loyal to somebody else in the future. Once betrayed it is hard to dig deep and trust somebody else again, inevitably making you the non-loyal person in the future. It then becomes a vicious cycle that I feel is faced constantly today by a majority of people. In order to solve this problem, just make sure you truly know who you are loyal to readers. When you need that support you have to be able to trust that person will be there for you when you need them most.
Friday, March 11, 2016
Wednesday, March 2, 2016
As Early As 1872
The double standard that men are applauded for having multiple sex partners and women are scorned still eludes me. Why is the judgment leaned more so in one direction? I also don’t understand the double standard that it is all right for men to openly discuss sexual details and aspects about themselves and their partners, however, if a woman wants to do so it comes off as vulgar behavior. I feel like this idea stems from a man wanting a woman that would be the best mother to their children. A man doesn’t want to be with a woman that isn’t suited to raise a child.
Growing up I personally didn’t want to be with a girl that has been around. However, the older I’ve gotten, the more open I’ve become to the idea. I view women as equals, so if I don’t judge my guy friends for sleeping around, why should I judge my female friends for that? I can’t judge somebody based solely on their past. Yes, I will take their past into consideration but, if they are honest with me and are all about me, then I don’t see any problem with being with a highly sexually active woman.
The men are supposed to pursue the women and in the process of this, an idea comes into play that no man wants a woman that has been around. A man sometimes brags to his friends about his pursuit of a woman. Gay women brag about the amount of sex they have as well, but you won’t often come across a heterosexual woman that talks about the guys she’s having sex with. If a woman has been around, is it then her job to pursue the man?
I’ve been in a situation where a woman wanted me and pursued me. First off, it’s flattering being pursued. It’s not something I want to get used to, but here and there I wouldn’t mind it if a woman was more open with herself sexually. There is nothing wrong with a woman going after a man she wants, in my opinion. If this double standard ever ceases to exist, then more of this would happen. Should the roles change? Does the woman take on the lead role in the relationship due to her high sexual activity? You would think that this is the case, but the second a woman goes for a man the assumption is that she does this regularly. The assumption is that she is a whore. Why?
I feel as if women were more open about their sexuality, this mentality would be completely different. I see more and more women showing off more skin and claiming they don’t hook up with guys, knowing that they do. Why lie about that aspect of yourself? Is it because women believe it will be more appealing to a man if he thought they weren’t having a lot of sex? Is it appealing to a woman if a man has a lot of sex? I feel like a woman would judge a man on the number of people he’s slept with and this leads to them being more conservative about their own sexuality. How could this be more balanced?
According to history, a woman was supposed to save herself for marriage. This idea obviously changed and it is difficult to find a woman to be your first. Are we approaching a reversed era where men should start saving themselves for marriage? No, because that would be crazy. So, why is this idea that woman have to hide their sexuality such a problem?
Overall, I believe the double standard relates to confidence in oneself. We like to be with someone who makes us feel good about ourselves. However, if we already feel good about ourselves, without anybody else, then it won’t matter who we are having sex with; we won’t be intimidated by what our friends or family think of it. So do yourself a favor and just be honest about who you are because the more you hide it, the more you’re feeding into societies double standard.
Peace readers
-Stylish Ev
Growing up I personally didn’t want to be with a girl that has been around. However, the older I’ve gotten, the more open I’ve become to the idea. I view women as equals, so if I don’t judge my guy friends for sleeping around, why should I judge my female friends for that? I can’t judge somebody based solely on their past. Yes, I will take their past into consideration but, if they are honest with me and are all about me, then I don’t see any problem with being with a highly sexually active woman.
The men are supposed to pursue the women and in the process of this, an idea comes into play that no man wants a woman that has been around. A man sometimes brags to his friends about his pursuit of a woman. Gay women brag about the amount of sex they have as well, but you won’t often come across a heterosexual woman that talks about the guys she’s having sex with. If a woman has been around, is it then her job to pursue the man?
I’ve been in a situation where a woman wanted me and pursued me. First off, it’s flattering being pursued. It’s not something I want to get used to, but here and there I wouldn’t mind it if a woman was more open with herself sexually. There is nothing wrong with a woman going after a man she wants, in my opinion. If this double standard ever ceases to exist, then more of this would happen. Should the roles change? Does the woman take on the lead role in the relationship due to her high sexual activity? You would think that this is the case, but the second a woman goes for a man the assumption is that she does this regularly. The assumption is that she is a whore. Why?
I feel as if women were more open about their sexuality, this mentality would be completely different. I see more and more women showing off more skin and claiming they don’t hook up with guys, knowing that they do. Why lie about that aspect of yourself? Is it because women believe it will be more appealing to a man if he thought they weren’t having a lot of sex? Is it appealing to a woman if a man has a lot of sex? I feel like a woman would judge a man on the number of people he’s slept with and this leads to them being more conservative about their own sexuality. How could this be more balanced?
According to history, a woman was supposed to save herself for marriage. This idea obviously changed and it is difficult to find a woman to be your first. Are we approaching a reversed era where men should start saving themselves for marriage? No, because that would be crazy. So, why is this idea that woman have to hide their sexuality such a problem?
Overall, I believe the double standard relates to confidence in oneself. We like to be with someone who makes us feel good about ourselves. However, if we already feel good about ourselves, without anybody else, then it won’t matter who we are having sex with; we won’t be intimidated by what our friends or family think of it. So do yourself a favor and just be honest about who you are because the more you hide it, the more you’re feeding into societies double standard.
Peace readers
-Stylish Ev
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)