Stay Connected

When I think back to my freshman year at Centenary College of NJ, I can still recall the high level of interaction amongst the students. There was eye contact being made, conversations that would hold you up from making it to class on time, and let's not forget to mention hugs; lots of hugs.

I can still remember girls coming to class wearing their best outfits to grab a guy’s attention. However, now a girl would just post a provocative Instagram post, calculating every like she gets. I can still remember how guys would have to build up the courage to sit next to the girl they wanted to get to know. However, now he'd like a few of her pictures and if she liked a few back, he’d slide up in her DM (Direct Messages).

When I think back to my freshman year of college, I can still recall when students would walk around with their heads held high. I’m not talking about their level of self-confidence though. Take a look the next time you walk around and you will see people with their ears plugged up. Their chins fused to their chests, with their thumbs gyrating all over their phones. I can still remember walking a certain way to class just to see somebody and find out how they’re doing. Now people would just text them “How are you?” and like a few of their emotional posts, saying, “I’m here for you.” But are you really?

Bumping into people now is literally bumping into somebody that wasn't looking up to see where they were going. I used to look forward to bumping into somebody and asking them something. Now if somebody bumps into me they won’t even say hi, they would text me later that week and say they saw me. What happened to human interaction?

It disturbs me how making eye contact with somebody has become socially awkward and we would rather hide behind a phone than approach someone. Try going a day without depending on your phone. Believe it or not, there was a time when I had friends without having a cell phone. That whole “keeping your circle small” mentality is new to me. Back in the day when our phonebooks were actually notebooks, my circle was only as big as the amount of house numbers I could memorize.

I think back to before high school when cellphones were just starting to enter our lives and I wish somebody would have told me how bad of an idea they were going to be. I wish somebody would have told me that all cellphones would end up doing is desensitizing our humanity, causing us to be more dependent on our phones throughout time. Do yourself a favor and go a day without constantly staring at your phone, you might realize how amazing the world could be through your own eyes.

Peace readers

-Stylish Ev   

These Moments

I hope you had a wonderful weekend, full of love and affection. Even if you didn’t spend Valentine’s Day with a significant other, I hope you spent it with a family member or close friend. Always remember to live in the happy moments because it is common to only cherish events when they’re just memories. I spent Valentine’s Day hosting auditions for my TV show. It wasn’t romantic, however I was doing something I loved. This past week has been filled with a lot of work and excitement for me.

Every aspect of it still feels surreal and even now, writing this blog, I still can’t believe what I’ve accomplished. I acquired an amazing cast and rewrote my entire show to add in more characters. I have such a dedicated staff and crew, I’m learning a new language, and I’ve passed all of my exams for my classes. I still can’t believe the impact I’ve had on people in the past week, as well as the impact I’ve had on my own life. To be completely honest I’ve never felt so alive before, it brings a smile to my face doing what I love.

This past week I dedicated a lot of my time and attention to writing my TV show, and I was amazed about how free I felt. I didn’t pay attention to my phone or any kind of social media. I’ve been busy working; on my school work, TV show, and myself. I felt bad not getting back to people who were trying to contact me, but when you’re chasing your dream it’s hard to pay attention to reality. Have you ever just been so immersed in an activity that time wasn’t even a concern anymore? That’s how you know you love what you’re doing.

If you’re doing something in life and time just flies by while you do it, then why stop? These are the moments in life that impact our souls. These are the moments that we look back on in the future and just smile. Our defining moments don’t have a definition until their page in the dictionary has been turned. Life is a book, and the pages are constantly being turned. My biggest fear is finding myself towards the end of the book and not understanding its contents. So live in those moments where time eludes you, because I believe that those moments define who you are.

Peace readers

-Stylish Ev  

Course of Action

Tonight I will be having my first general interest meeting for a scripted comedy series I wrote, entitled Textbook. If you’re a UAlbany student, stop by the ATV Office -which is located in room CC 326- at 8 p.m. tonight, February 10th. I dedicated a lot of time and effort into writing this TV show and I felt extremely confident about it during the creative process. However, now that I’m in the execution phase my confidence is diminishing slowly. Thoughts such as, “what if nobody shows up,” or “what if the viewers don’t like the show,” run through my mind. I know that these doubts have the potential to negatively affect my work ethic and alter how I present my show, and most importantly, myself.

“Confidence is key.” We have all heard this quote before and know exactly what it depicts. In order for me to hit the nail on the head tonight with this meeting, I need to exude confidence. One may wonder how this can be achieved. I’ve already taken the first step by identifying my own negative thoughts about my show. Identifying them allows me to be able to begin to form positive affirmations. For example, when I think about if viewers will like my show, I reassure myself that they will enjoy it because my plot and ideas are engaging.

Disallowing negative thoughts to consume you will leave room for positive thoughts to grow. Doing this will eventually counter your negative self criticism with positive self-thinking, ultimately building your confidence. Maintaining a positive atmosphere can affect your confidence in the same way. Your friends and family are great resources for a positive support network. You should take some time to think about which individuals in your life really make you feel great. Make it a priority to spend more time with people who are supportive and up-lifting.

I am very grateful for my support team, who knows about my show and pushes me to remain on track constantly. I speak to them more often than anyone else because it helps me avoid the potential burdens of my own negativity. When you are in this kind of situation it is important to avoid spending time around things that can further your negative feelings about yourself. Constantly being in a positive state makes it easier to identify your own talents. Everyone is good at something, so discover the things you excel at and focus on them. For me, this is writing. When you're following your passion, not only will it be therapeutic, but you'll feel unique and accomplished; all of which can help build your self confidence.

What’s most important is that we to take pride in ourselves. Not only should we be proud of our skills, but also of the aspects of our personality that makes us great. A close friend of mine always boasts about his own greatness and at first this seemed very unorthodox to me. Then I realized how confident this made him feel. It can be anything you feel great about.

It can be your sense of humor, your sense of compassion, your listening skills, or your ability to keep trying. You may not think that there's anything about your personality that deserves admiration, but if you dig deep – and I mean really deep – you'll realize that you have plenty of admirable qualities. I came to this realization and that’s why I’m going to walk into that meeting tonight, and perform like it’s the half time show for the Super Bowl.



Peace readers

-Stylish Ev

Best Friends Vs. Boy & Girl Friends

I just celebrated my 23rd birthday Sunday, January 31st. I still can’t believe that I’m 23, time really does fly by. I can still remember hanging out with my friends in high school. We would play basketball after school until late at night.

“Bro, I never seen anybody jump the way you do. No lie when I see you jump for a second I think you’re flying up there.”

I still remember talking about life with my close friends.

“Bro, you’re gonna make it with your poetry, I can see you writing a book and traveling the world.”

We imagined where life will take us in the future; wondering if all of us still will be hanging out together.

“Bro, my kids will be playing with your kids one day, we’ll being having BBQ’s in our backyards like your pops always do in the summer.”

None of us were never close to imagining that our lives would turn out the way it is now.

“I know we have different parents, I know we come from different parts of the world, but you’re my brother and we don’t need to be have the same blood to make that true.”

All that bonding – all that time spent together – and I never thought my close friends, I considered family at one point in my life, would lose touch with me over time…

Recently I’ve been hearing about people commonly expressing the amount of pain they endure during a breakup with a significant other. However, nobody ever talks about how much it hurts to lose a close friend. In my opinion, the pain of breaking up with a friend is greater than the pain of breaking up with a significant other. That friendship shaped your life in more ways than love and romance. Breaking a best friends bond shatters deeper than any boy/girlfriend relationship. Think about it, the person we marry ideally are our best friend’s… making losing your best friend more damaging than just losing a lover.

I’ve been in very few relationships; my longest relationship was probably 2 years. However, I’ve been friends with people since I was 4-years-old. A few years ago I broke a friendship with one of my friends that I knew since I was about 4-years-old and that hurt me more than losing any girlfriend I ever had. There are days when I want my best friend back more than anything, but there aren’t any days when I want one of my old girlfriends back.

He and I hung out in elementary school, we even went to the same middle school. When high school rolled around we went to different schools but still hangout almost every single day. I stuck by his side and he stuck by mine. One night we got into an argument and it wasn’t our first. However, by the end of it I had this feeling like it was our last, and it was.

Readers, hold your friends close and don’t take them for granted. When everything in your life goes wrong you can always turn to a good friend. That person that you consider the love of your life might not be there a few years down the road; but your good friend definitely will there by your side. Even if you haven’t spoken to your best friend in a couple of weeks they are still your best friend; time doesn’t diminish the friendship.

I say this because there are very few people I consider my best friend and I don’t talk to them every day; I don’t even see them once a week. However, in my heart there will always be a place for them. What happened between me and my closest friend was hard but I believe in time our paths will cross again. When they do I’ll make sure to be the bigger person and admit I was wrong because I’ll push aside my pride to keep a brother in my life. Remember that the next time you have a fight with your friend and you could potentially lose them. You never know because that could be your last fight… because I didn’t.