Truth Be Told

Now I'm not a saint and there are things about my personality that I'd wish to change. However, that's up to me to decide if I want to change it or not. No one else should decide. Even if people have a problem with it or not. I'm not talking about the little things, I'm discussing the bigger issues at hand. If it's a noticeable flaw in somebody’s personality then maybe they should strongly take into consideration that changes need to be made. However, that's still their decision.

Now here's the catch, if I meet somebody new they have no idea what my flaws are. I have a clean slate without any repercussions. Think about it, we all have people in our lives that have that one thing about them that's either annoying or we absolutely can't stand. However, we tolerate it because we love them or care about them. We don't notice this flaw until somebody points it out. When they point it out that thought soon fades away shortly after because of the emotions we share with that person.

If you introduce someone else by describing that one negative trait the rest of that person's mystery is gone. Why? Because the main focus is that trait we can't stand. Yes, when meeting somebody new you should know what that persons about. But there's no need to introduce somebody with a negative attribute. For example, "hi have you met Everette? Watch out he'll get close to you and disappear for a while." WHOA right? Now all that person is focused on is me being a scumbag. I know you're best interest is at heart when you're telling somebody about someone else and mention that one bad thing however, you don't know if those two people would become close.  They could possibly grow together into better people. It's not up to you to decide somebody else's fate by guiding their relationship in a certain direction.

The people you're introducing have a negative aspect about them too but you aren't approaching the stranger and telling them that. Are you? No... Thats what I thought.... Why don't you give other relationships a chance rather that enclosing every detail in the beginning? To make matters worse, the details being told are most likely negative extremely positive or over exaggerated. Give new relationships a chance by keeping the mystery and having an equal level of suspense. After all, that's what making new relationships are all about. It's about learning how other people live and exploring ourselves.

Status Update, To Date or Not to Date?

Status Update, To Date or Not to Date?

Now a day’s everything is moving at a faster paced and prematurely assumed when it comes to dating. This happens for a couple of reasons; profile information that’s provided online by ourselves, photos of our day to day activities, tweets or blogs of our inner thoughts, and let's not forget whatever we like is completely visible to others. That’s why a lot of men and women are compelled to a string of 1 night stands. A lot of the mystery is unveiled before people physically interact. This sexual action isn't made by choice though, it occurs due to a high amount of pressure. However, the pressure isn't a form of peer pressure and it isn't pressure on one's self. This pressure is directed to the person that accompanies you on the first date. 

With online soul search being more of a fad for the younger generation, thanks to sites such as tinder, rejection is on the verge of extinction. Dating mates meet with a wide variety of knowledge about the opposite sex partner due to communication and some friendly Internet stalking. Let's be honest, if you're going to meet somebody off the Internet you want to make sure they aren't a murderer first right? That’s why it becomes a moral obligation to really know a person before you officially meet them in person, then have sex with them. Now I'm not saying every first meeting ends with sexual intercourse but... you're out there and you know what I'm talking about! 

This pressure is located in the person you're on this first date with because it is uncertain if that person is truly into you. I know this sound confusing but let's look at the facts. 

1. Fact, you met this person online, isn't it just as easy for this person to meet other people online? 

2. Fact, no matter how much you talk to this person they could easily be talking to somebody else. 

3. Fact, emotions are created even before you meet this person. Judging based off of the level of physical attraction alone towards one another, anything may be possible. 

The only thing you know is that they cared enough to make time for you to meet up and get to know you in person. With that being said once you’ve met, these facts are embedded in our brains; these facts are called common sense. And with this common sense comes a guard. This guard applies to the significant few that don’t put out on the first day. Kudos to you, significant few, keep up the good work. However, to those who get laid on the first night is because an opposite affect happens to you. Instead of having your guard up, you allowed yourself to keep your guard completely down because of the same facts that helped the significant few keep their guard up. 

1. You met this person online and they choose to meet up with you, which must mean they aren’t talking to anybody else. 

2. You talk to this person all the time there is no way they could possibly be talking to somebody else.

3. Emotions were formed before you’ve met and you’re physically attracted to one another which mean you must be meant to be.

This is the cause of a false infatuation which is why everything is moving at a faster pace. At that very moment your first date may feel like 5 dates in one, like you’ve known this person for some long. You forget for that one second that you’ve just met this person and one second in the bedroom is all that’s needed to take the next step. 

My readers, take it slow! Online dating isn’t bad. Some people resort to it because they don’t have the time to meet people in person. Others use it to meet people outside of their social circle. People don’t meet in person as often because of technology and how most of the time we are disconnected to the world. Which makes it harder to make new connections in person. If you meet somebody online it isn’t your obligation to give it your all just yet. Keep some guard up and remember to have fun. After all, that’s what dating is all about. 

Peace readers

-Stylish Ev