Here's To 2015

2015 has been the absolutely worst year of my life and I am grateful for that. Everything I’ve been through this year shaped me in the proper way to fit my purpose in life. Everybody I lost, every bad situation I couldn’t get out of, every goal I did not accomplish, every mistake I endured… made me stronger. Made me smarter. Made me realize that I didn’t have control over my own life and, if I wanted to live it I needed to change how I was living. 

I’m not sure why people are always upset about hearing that somebody wants to renew their life for the New Year. A lot of ridicule is thrown towards that person, but for what reasons? Individuals are scared of change but when it comes to a clean slate they won’t waste a second before attempting to be different. Being different isn’t always negative. A change in one’s life could bring them closer to their destiny. But that person has to realize why they are changing. And to those people who refuse to change, are you so scared of improving yourself that you’ll belittle anyone else who does? Are you scared of getting closer to your purpose in life? 

I know the answer to that question; people will bring down anybody else to their low level when that negative person isn’t satisfied with their own life. If you have a New Years Eve resolution don’t make change for anybody but yourself. When times get extremely rough and you’re all alone, at that moment, all you will have is yourself and your faith. Whatever you put your faith into it’s up to you. However, at that moment when you’re all alone you’re going to want to give up if you made the change for somebody who isn’t there by your side. Don’t do that! You won’t give up if you made the change for somebody who will always be in your life, and that’s yourself. Change because you want to and not because somebody else wants you to. It’s your own life so live it for you! 

I started to make the change for the better in 2015 without even realizing it. I will continue to embrace the positive energy around me coming into the New Year. I realize now that for every person I lost this year I gained a new. I realize now that for every bad situation I couldn’t get out of I eventually did and I gained a lot of knowledge of each situation. I realize now that for every goal I did not accomplish I simply raised the bar and worked even harder to reach it, gaining stronger endurance in the process. I realize now that for every mistake I made, big or small, I’ve learned from it and gained the necessary experience to grow. 2015 made me to be stronger. 2015 made me to be smarter. 2015 made me realize that I wanted to live my life so I began to take control of it. 

You can ask anybody what type of person I was when I turned 22 and I will guarantee that I am not that same person now, about to turn 23. I didn’t even realize how much I’ve changed this year until I started looking back at all the choices I’ve made and all the things I’ve did as a result of those choices. How many of you can say that you are not the same person you were at the beginning of this year and smile about it? If you can, then you might as well stop reading and continue on your positive path into the New Year. If you can’t, then ask yourself this… are you ready to change?

2015 has been the absolutely worst year of my life and I am going to make the last day of it the best day.  If I have the strength and courage to do so then so can you. I am going to take everything I learned this year and apply to the next. If you don’t want to change then at least try to grow. Understand yourself and why you do things. That’s how I got to where I am now. I took the time this year to get to know myself. Once you do that then you will slowly notice how your life begins to change without you even trying. Then you will begin to live a happier life, a more fulfilling life.

Thank you for reading, have a Happy New Year

Peace readers

-Stylish Ev   

Letter To Her

Hey,

You don't know me but here's what I would say,

It's written in a letter from me to you for when we meet one day,

If romance was equal to sex, then get ready for a lot of foreplay

I'm talking long walks,

Longer dinners,

Extremely long nights with long days.

I love cooking breakfast.

Get ready for a few surprise bites,

My specialty is French toast,

I don't even mind making egg whites.

I'm a morning person, but if you aren't I'll let you sleep in.

Church isn't an issue because for you, I'll repent any sin.

Get ready for strolls by the water,

Movies in the park,

I'll even carve our initials into some old tree bark.

I'll be there for you when you're mad,

And if you need space, you don't have to lie,

I'll give my shoulder whenever you need to cry.

I even hope you pass away first,

I wouldn't want you to see me die.

I know that sounds crazy, but if I said otherwise

That would be a lie.

I've met a lot of girls that told me I'm the right guy,

But I've never met you,

My one true love,

The only apple of my eye.

In all reality to those girls,

I was just the left guy

I left them all because with you is where my heart lie.

Oh yeah, I have a cute laugh,

So it'll be hard for you to stay mad,

And when I'm mad, I stay mad.

But I’m working on that now so I won’t make you so sad.

Nothing would make me happier just to keep you glad.

Sometimes, I have a rude temper,

And there's something else my mom told me to warn you about,

But right now I don't remember.

Oh yeah, when I get excited I like to scream or shout.

But enough with my little imperfections,

That isn’t what this letter is about.

I love the fall,

The moon,

And even the night sky.

I always write when I can't express myself with just words,

I get out what I can, but trust me, I'm not a complicated guy.

I'll never let you forget how much I love you,

So sit back and let's watch how time flies.

I promise I'll give you my mind, body, and soul,

If you can live without the wealth,

I'd get a second job for our children,

So they could live in good health,

In a good neighborhood,

With a good school,

And good friends.

For Christmas, we'll get Santa Claus and reindeers,

And keep up the decorations until the Christmas season ends.

Most importantly,

I want you to sleep with a smile on your face,

Because at the end of the day, if anything went missing,

I'll always know that your heart stood in the right place.

This letter will be sent in the mail, and will travel through time and space,

And I apologize to your boyfriend now, if that's the case.

But I hope he knows if I knew who you were,

I'd say this to his face,

You're the one I'd love forever,

You're my queen,

You're my saving grace.

In life we make choices,

And my choices so far, resulted in me ending up in this place.

I'm sorry I'm late,

Loving you isn’t just a race.

I might get there last,

But in your heart I know I won first place.

Your one true love,

Everette Hamlette

The guy who will keep your heart safe.

Truth Be Told

Now I'm not a saint and there are things about my personality that I'd wish to change. However, that's up to me to decide if I want to change it or not. No one else should decide. Even if people have a problem with it or not. I'm not talking about the little things, I'm discussing the bigger issues at hand. If it's a noticeable flaw in somebody’s personality then maybe they should strongly take into consideration that changes need to be made. However, that's still their decision.

Now here's the catch, if I meet somebody new they have no idea what my flaws are. I have a clean slate without any repercussions. Think about it, we all have people in our lives that have that one thing about them that's either annoying or we absolutely can't stand. However, we tolerate it because we love them or care about them. We don't notice this flaw until somebody points it out. When they point it out that thought soon fades away shortly after because of the emotions we share with that person.

If you introduce someone else by describing that one negative trait the rest of that person's mystery is gone. Why? Because the main focus is that trait we can't stand. Yes, when meeting somebody new you should know what that persons about. But there's no need to introduce somebody with a negative attribute. For example, "hi have you met Everette? Watch out he'll get close to you and disappear for a while." WHOA right? Now all that person is focused on is me being a scumbag. I know you're best interest is at heart when you're telling somebody about someone else and mention that one bad thing however, you don't know if those two people would become close.  They could possibly grow together into better people. It's not up to you to decide somebody else's fate by guiding their relationship in a certain direction.

The people you're introducing have a negative aspect about them too but you aren't approaching the stranger and telling them that. Are you? No... Thats what I thought.... Why don't you give other relationships a chance rather that enclosing every detail in the beginning? To make matters worse, the details being told are most likely negative extremely positive or over exaggerated. Give new relationships a chance by keeping the mystery and having an equal level of suspense. After all, that's what making new relationships are all about. It's about learning how other people live and exploring ourselves.

Status Update, To Date or Not to Date?

Status Update, To Date or Not to Date?

Now a day’s everything is moving at a faster paced and prematurely assumed when it comes to dating. This happens for a couple of reasons; profile information that’s provided online by ourselves, photos of our day to day activities, tweets or blogs of our inner thoughts, and let's not forget whatever we like is completely visible to others. That’s why a lot of men and women are compelled to a string of 1 night stands. A lot of the mystery is unveiled before people physically interact. This sexual action isn't made by choice though, it occurs due to a high amount of pressure. However, the pressure isn't a form of peer pressure and it isn't pressure on one's self. This pressure is directed to the person that accompanies you on the first date. 

With online soul search being more of a fad for the younger generation, thanks to sites such as tinder, rejection is on the verge of extinction. Dating mates meet with a wide variety of knowledge about the opposite sex partner due to communication and some friendly Internet stalking. Let's be honest, if you're going to meet somebody off the Internet you want to make sure they aren't a murderer first right? That’s why it becomes a moral obligation to really know a person before you officially meet them in person, then have sex with them. Now I'm not saying every first meeting ends with sexual intercourse but... you're out there and you know what I'm talking about! 

This pressure is located in the person you're on this first date with because it is uncertain if that person is truly into you. I know this sound confusing but let's look at the facts. 

1. Fact, you met this person online, isn't it just as easy for this person to meet other people online? 

2. Fact, no matter how much you talk to this person they could easily be talking to somebody else. 

3. Fact, emotions are created even before you meet this person. Judging based off of the level of physical attraction alone towards one another, anything may be possible. 

The only thing you know is that they cared enough to make time for you to meet up and get to know you in person. With that being said once you’ve met, these facts are embedded in our brains; these facts are called common sense. And with this common sense comes a guard. This guard applies to the significant few that don’t put out on the first day. Kudos to you, significant few, keep up the good work. However, to those who get laid on the first night is because an opposite affect happens to you. Instead of having your guard up, you allowed yourself to keep your guard completely down because of the same facts that helped the significant few keep their guard up. 

1. You met this person online and they choose to meet up with you, which must mean they aren’t talking to anybody else. 

2. You talk to this person all the time there is no way they could possibly be talking to somebody else.

3. Emotions were formed before you’ve met and you’re physically attracted to one another which mean you must be meant to be.

This is the cause of a false infatuation which is why everything is moving at a faster pace. At that very moment your first date may feel like 5 dates in one, like you’ve known this person for some long. You forget for that one second that you’ve just met this person and one second in the bedroom is all that’s needed to take the next step. 

My readers, take it slow! Online dating isn’t bad. Some people resort to it because they don’t have the time to meet people in person. Others use it to meet people outside of their social circle. People don’t meet in person as often because of technology and how most of the time we are disconnected to the world. Which makes it harder to make new connections in person. If you meet somebody online it isn’t your obligation to give it your all just yet. Keep some guard up and remember to have fun. After all, that’s what dating is all about. 

Peace readers

-Stylish Ev   

Know Thy Self

Today I walked for more than 3 hours around the Upper East Side of Manhattan alone. I wasn’t playing music in my ears, in fact, I didn’t even have my headphones in. You know what I’m talking about, we’ve all done it before, walked around with our headphones in without playing music so nobody would talk to us. GUILTY. However, today wasn’t an ordinary day. I walked around Manhattan for that long because I had a single goal in mind, that goal was to find a job. But, that’s not the point of this blog. Along my journey I kept thinking to myself if I was going to find a place of employment. Amongst those thoughts I kept encouraging myself, telling myself to keep going. That was win I discovered something that a lot of people might overlook.

In life we encounter a lot of enemies. We learn that the enemies that hurt us the most are the ones who use to be our friends. We’ve also learned to determine the amount of one’s strength by simply examining a fallen enemy we’ve encountered. These enemies could very well mark the chapters of our lives. However, there is one enemy that would always remain and that’s yourself; oneself. 

I KNOW THIS IS CRAZY. RIGHT? How could you be your own greatest enemy? Like, really… think about it…

I will tell you how! 

It is through fear, self doubt, and lack of knowledge that we create our own greatest enemies locked away in our selves. I know I’ve met my greatest enemy, multiple times, but for a second I never backed down. Today, as I was walking down the streets of Manhattan in 80 degree weather I kept telling myself to go home and try again. This was my self doubt fighting me, telling me I wasn’t good enough. But you know what? I fought him off, showing myself how much I’ve grown and how bad I wanted to be stronger. Knowing your enemy is always half the battle. It has always came down to preparing yourself for the worst and expecting the best possible results. 

Today readers I inform you that no matter what enemy you encounter in your lifetime the greatest enemy of them all will be yourself. Think of him like your shadow, they will always be there every step of the way but it is up to you to remain on top. It is up to you to remain in control. You are your greatest enemy my readers. Now go prepare yourself for this war we call life because nobody else could stop you but yourself. 

Peace readers

-Stylish Ev